Haven't we all faced unprovoked hostility from others? Whether it's anger, fussiness, or even baseless hatred, such reactions often stem from issues beyond ourselves. Today, I want to offer some encouragement from my own experiences. With over a decade in public ministry and thirteen books published, I've encountered my share of ridicule—experiences I sometimes wish I could have avoided.
For instance, just today, a stranger called me pathetic and brainwashed because of my support for Israel. Last week, I received an email from someone I don't know, criticizing me for publishing my memoir and sharing my story in the name of Jesus. And two weeks ago, I received a troubling private message on Facebook from a woman who accused me of being a leader of a cult that abuses women and children. This accusation especially hit my heart—not because it personally wounded me, but because I felt a profound pity for her.
For many years, I've traveled the world, dedicating my life to the well-being and liberty of abused youth. It's deeply painful to be accused of the very things I've spent my life fighting against. While I could recount numerous other instances of the increasing hatred directed at me from various people across the United States, I've learned not to take it personally.
Through enduring such unjust criticism, God has imparted valuable insights I'd like to share to encourage you. Despite harsh critiques, I've gained lessons that I offer guidance in your life. These experiences have taught me that people's reactions often reveal more about them than about the one being criticized. By recognizing this, we can learn to respond with compassion and wisdom, rather than reacting impulsively.
God has shown me that those who lash out rudely have a heart problem: they are often driven by pride, ignorance, and an uncontrollable ego of emotions. They seek an unsustainable and fleeting sense of power from their outbursts, which quickly fade, prompting them to find new targets for their criticism.
Their anger usually stems from a misunderstanding or a reaction to falsehoods. Often, their outbursts reflect their own fears and insecurities rather than anything about me personally. They might see traits of themselves in me that they've been taught to reject, such as vulnerability or emotional openness, which they perceive as weakness. Many have not learned to embrace and address their emotions constructively, leading to their misguided attacks.
Another insight God has given me is a deep sense of pity and compassion for those who react with anger. I feel compassion because their reactions are driven by uncontrolled emotions that they release desperately, seeking a fleeting sense of peace. Such reactions rarely originate from a place of true calm and often fail to bring lasting peace. In contrast, responding is a thoughtful and deliberate process. It involves pausing to assess the situation, understanding the emotions involved, and choosing a course of action (response) that is constructive and peaceful.
When we choose to respond rather than react, we enhance our ability to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts more amicably, and uphold our integrity and compassion in challenging situations. By pausing our emotions, we enable ourselves to move forward in a more thoughtful and constructive way. This approach raises an important question for you, dear reader: Do you react or respond to hurts, annoyances, and daily problems? This is a difficult question for many to answer honestly. But I encourage you not to give a quick answer that masks the truth. Instead, take a moment to reflect deeply and respond with genuine honesty.
You might find that, like many others, you sometimes react to situations rather than responding thoughtfully. If this is the case, I encourage you to make four simple adjustments that can help you calm the turmoil within you that causes you to react instead of respond.
1. Get Alone with God: Find a quiet place to bow down and pray. Confess your sins and acknowledge that your emotions are out of control. Ask God to give you His fruit of the Spirit, such as temperance, patience, kindness, gentleness, and goodness, to help guide your reactions.
2. Daily Seek the Lord in the Holy Bible: Read the Old Testament and carefully observe how individuals responded to difficult situations. Grab a notebook and pen, and note down the choices they made and how they handled troubles. Over time, your notes will highlight manners you can integrate into your lifestyle and daily habits.
3. Be Honest with Yourself: Reflect and consider what type of person/personality in the world bothers or annoys you or against whom you tend to have prejudice. Begin to pray for these types of people specifically. Ask God to create opportunities for you to meet and build friendships with individuals who challenge you. Pray for opportunities to minister to them with compassion and understanding.
4. Watch and Learn: Pay attention to how God will begin to bring these types of people into your life. Allow God to teach you how to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. With time, you'll be amazed at what God can do within you and in your interactions with others.
By making these adjustments, you can cultivate a habit of responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively out of uncontrolled emotions. This shift will not only enhance your ability to handle conflicts and challenges with grace but also lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. As you implement these practices—seeking God's guidance, studying His Word, being honest with yourself, and observing His work in your life—you'll find that your interactions become more constructive, and your inner turmoil diminishes. Embracing this approach will help you build more profound, meaningful relationships and foster a sense of true peace and fulfillment in your daily life.
RETURN TO ALL BLOGS
For instance, just today, a stranger called me pathetic and brainwashed because of my support for Israel. Last week, I received an email from someone I don't know, criticizing me for publishing my memoir and sharing my story in the name of Jesus. And two weeks ago, I received a troubling private message on Facebook from a woman who accused me of being a leader of a cult that abuses women and children. This accusation especially hit my heart—not because it personally wounded me, but because I felt a profound pity for her.
For many years, I've traveled the world, dedicating my life to the well-being and liberty of abused youth. It's deeply painful to be accused of the very things I've spent my life fighting against. While I could recount numerous other instances of the increasing hatred directed at me from various people across the United States, I've learned not to take it personally.
Through enduring such unjust criticism, God has imparted valuable insights I'd like to share to encourage you. Despite harsh critiques, I've gained lessons that I offer guidance in your life. These experiences have taught me that people's reactions often reveal more about them than about the one being criticized. By recognizing this, we can learn to respond with compassion and wisdom, rather than reacting impulsively.
God has shown me that those who lash out rudely have a heart problem: they are often driven by pride, ignorance, and an uncontrollable ego of emotions. They seek an unsustainable and fleeting sense of power from their outbursts, which quickly fade, prompting them to find new targets for their criticism.
Their anger usually stems from a misunderstanding or a reaction to falsehoods. Often, their outbursts reflect their own fears and insecurities rather than anything about me personally. They might see traits of themselves in me that they've been taught to reject, such as vulnerability or emotional openness, which they perceive as weakness. Many have not learned to embrace and address their emotions constructively, leading to their misguided attacks.
Another insight God has given me is a deep sense of pity and compassion for those who react with anger. I feel compassion because their reactions are driven by uncontrolled emotions that they release desperately, seeking a fleeting sense of peace. Such reactions rarely originate from a place of true calm and often fail to bring lasting peace. In contrast, responding is a thoughtful and deliberate process. It involves pausing to assess the situation, understanding the emotions involved, and choosing a course of action (response) that is constructive and peaceful.
When we choose to respond rather than react, we enhance our ability to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts more amicably, and uphold our integrity and compassion in challenging situations. By pausing our emotions, we enable ourselves to move forward in a more thoughtful and constructive way. This approach raises an important question for you, dear reader: Do you react or respond to hurts, annoyances, and daily problems? This is a difficult question for many to answer honestly. But I encourage you not to give a quick answer that masks the truth. Instead, take a moment to reflect deeply and respond with genuine honesty.
You might find that, like many others, you sometimes react to situations rather than responding thoughtfully. If this is the case, I encourage you to make four simple adjustments that can help you calm the turmoil within you that causes you to react instead of respond.
1. Get Alone with God: Find a quiet place to bow down and pray. Confess your sins and acknowledge that your emotions are out of control. Ask God to give you His fruit of the Spirit, such as temperance, patience, kindness, gentleness, and goodness, to help guide your reactions.
2. Daily Seek the Lord in the Holy Bible: Read the Old Testament and carefully observe how individuals responded to difficult situations. Grab a notebook and pen, and note down the choices they made and how they handled troubles. Over time, your notes will highlight manners you can integrate into your lifestyle and daily habits.
3. Be Honest with Yourself: Reflect and consider what type of person/personality in the world bothers or annoys you or against whom you tend to have prejudice. Begin to pray for these types of people specifically. Ask God to create opportunities for you to meet and build friendships with individuals who challenge you. Pray for opportunities to minister to them with compassion and understanding.
4. Watch and Learn: Pay attention to how God will begin to bring these types of people into your life. Allow God to teach you how to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. With time, you'll be amazed at what God can do within you and in your interactions with others.
By making these adjustments, you can cultivate a habit of responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively out of uncontrolled emotions. This shift will not only enhance your ability to handle conflicts and challenges with grace but also lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. As you implement these practices—seeking God's guidance, studying His Word, being honest with yourself, and observing His work in your life—you'll find that your interactions become more constructive, and your inner turmoil diminishes. Embracing this approach will help you build more profound, meaningful relationships and foster a sense of true peace and fulfillment in your daily life.
RETURN TO ALL BLOGS
