Ever wondered how to endure months of physical pain from hell? Here’s an excerpt from my book, ‘Confessions: A Memoir of Hope for the Suffering.'
………….ONE MINUTE I’M SLEEPING peacefully in my bed. The next, I’m twisting and screaming.
I awake suddenly to the sensation of someone stabbing me in the lower lumbar with a hot knife. My back is spasming, and there’s almost nothing I can do to stop it.
“Oh, God!” I cry to Heaven. “Please heal me!”
I painfully and slowly lift myself out of bed, hoping to alleviate the pain. I force myself out of bed and walk into the other room. I fall down onto the floor next to the couch and scream, “Ahhh! Oh God, help me!”
I am stuck on the floor. Agony shoots down from my lower lumbar to my feet like someone is ripping and tearing the muscles.
My back seizes and spasms again.
“Ahhh! God! Why so much pain?”
I wriggle until I’m on my side, where I can steal a pinch of comfort. But after a minute, the sharp pains rockets down my legs, hips, and back again. One leg leans over such that my lower back twists a little too far, erupting in unspeakable pain. “Please God, stop the pain!”
I need to flatten myself out. This position is making it so much more painful, stretching the muscles to the point of breaking--
I can’t move.
My leg feels paralyzed by the pain. I can’t move it because the muscles are locked in place and seizing nonstop. I gasp for breath, the sensation like a thousand knives piercing my flesh.
“God… help me…”
I need to flip over. To somehow get out of this awkward position and make the agony stop. I reach above me, hoping to grab something for leverage. My couch has a bunch of pillows, and I swipe at them, knocking some off the couch and trying to lift myself up.
What am I supposed to hold onto?
The movement tweaks my back muscles, and I yelp, more blades digging into my flesh and twisting their cruel edges. I press my hands against the wall. I have to do something, anything to get out of this pain.
Then my fingers grasp the arm of the couch. It’s hardly a good hold, but it’ll have to do. I grab it as tightly as I can and push.
The tearing sensation rushes up my body like a wave, and I wonder if my inwards are anything more than shredded paper. My legs slowly rotate until they slide onto the couch, parallel to one another. I collapse and suck air as if I’ve just finished a marathon.
“Oh God,” I moan between sips of air. “Pleassse God… don’t let that happen again.”
It would happen again. Night and day for two months. My world was a den of relentless pain and sleepless hours on a sweat-stained bed.
I couldn’t work. I couldn’t minister. I couldn’t move around.
My world was in pain, and my body was crumbling.
How could God let this happen to me? Didn’t He want me to do His good work in ministry?
Or had He abandoned me to suffer forever?............
Want to read more? Click the link to order your copy and uncover the full story: www.MissionFrontier.info/confessions
RETURN TO ALL BLOGS
………….ONE MINUTE I’M SLEEPING peacefully in my bed. The next, I’m twisting and screaming.
I awake suddenly to the sensation of someone stabbing me in the lower lumbar with a hot knife. My back is spasming, and there’s almost nothing I can do to stop it.
“Oh, God!” I cry to Heaven. “Please heal me!”
I painfully and slowly lift myself out of bed, hoping to alleviate the pain. I force myself out of bed and walk into the other room. I fall down onto the floor next to the couch and scream, “Ahhh! Oh God, help me!”
I am stuck on the floor. Agony shoots down from my lower lumbar to my feet like someone is ripping and tearing the muscles.
My back seizes and spasms again.
“Ahhh! God! Why so much pain?”
I wriggle until I’m on my side, where I can steal a pinch of comfort. But after a minute, the sharp pains rockets down my legs, hips, and back again. One leg leans over such that my lower back twists a little too far, erupting in unspeakable pain. “Please God, stop the pain!”
I need to flatten myself out. This position is making it so much more painful, stretching the muscles to the point of breaking--
I can’t move.
My leg feels paralyzed by the pain. I can’t move it because the muscles are locked in place and seizing nonstop. I gasp for breath, the sensation like a thousand knives piercing my flesh.
“God… help me…”
I need to flip over. To somehow get out of this awkward position and make the agony stop. I reach above me, hoping to grab something for leverage. My couch has a bunch of pillows, and I swipe at them, knocking some off the couch and trying to lift myself up.
What am I supposed to hold onto?
The movement tweaks my back muscles, and I yelp, more blades digging into my flesh and twisting their cruel edges. I press my hands against the wall. I have to do something, anything to get out of this pain.
Then my fingers grasp the arm of the couch. It’s hardly a good hold, but it’ll have to do. I grab it as tightly as I can and push.
The tearing sensation rushes up my body like a wave, and I wonder if my inwards are anything more than shredded paper. My legs slowly rotate until they slide onto the couch, parallel to one another. I collapse and suck air as if I’ve just finished a marathon.
“Oh God,” I moan between sips of air. “Pleassse God… don’t let that happen again.”
It would happen again. Night and day for two months. My world was a den of relentless pain and sleepless hours on a sweat-stained bed.
I couldn’t work. I couldn’t minister. I couldn’t move around.
My world was in pain, and my body was crumbling.
How could God let this happen to me? Didn’t He want me to do His good work in ministry?
Or had He abandoned me to suffer forever?............
Want to read more? Click the link to order your copy and uncover the full story: www.MissionFrontier.info/confessions
RETURN TO ALL BLOGS
