No matter which direction we look, we are consistently hearing the same advice: love yourself, have faith in yourself, put yourself first, look after yourself, and follow your heart. Since the world has been spreading these ideas for so long, most people now consider them to be right. Sadly, this sort of thinking has also seeped into many churches; some preachers even claim from their pulpits that the main problem facing their congregations is a lack of self-love.
This teaching holds that the main reason for most of our struggles is that we do not value ourselves enough. We are told that our wounds will heal when we learn to appreciate ourselves and that the path to happiness, satisfaction, and even spiritual well-being starts with developing a greater love for ourselves. Even though the teaching is presented as wise spiritual counsel, it actually uses language similar to that found in self-help books rather than drawing on the wise counsel of the Holy Bible. Ultimately, it boils down to one familiar message: you must love yourself more.
But that is not what the Holy Bible teaches.
The scriptures show something far more disturbing: the trouble with humanity has never been that we do not love ourselves enough; on the contrary, the problem is that we love ourselves too much. Since the time in the Garden of Eden right down to the present day, the source of man's rebellion against God has always been self; we want our own way, we wish for our own desires to be fulfilled, we want our own plans to succeed, and we seek our own glory. At the core of sin is the act of putting self on the throne which belongs solely to God.
That is the reason why I am deeply concerned when I hear preachers saying that people should love themselves more. The Apostle Paul had warned Timothy that one of the defining characteristics of the last days would be that men and women would be "lovers of their own selves" (2 Timothy 3:2). He did not see this as a virtue and he did not consider it a remedy for the troubles of mankind; on the contrary, he regarded it as one of the signs that a generation had turned away from God even though it continued to maintain an outward appearance of religion.
That raises a major question: since a liking for oneself is one of the characteristics of a godless generation, how has self-love become one of the most highly regarded teachings in modern Christianity? How have we succumbed to the influence of the culture where churches are preaching the very thing that the Bible warns us about?
The answer is straightforward: the message appeals to our flesh.
There is a strong tendency for the flesh to hear that it is special, to hear that it entitles to more attention, and to hear that it should be the focus of the story; but Jesus never called men and women to exalt themselves. Instead, He called us to deny ourselves, and said, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me" (Matthew 16:24).
That is not the language of self-love. That is the language of surrender.
There is no need for us to be taught to love ourselves. That impulse is already driven within the nature of who we are. We instinctively protect ourselves. We defend ourselves. We promote ourselves. We make room for our own desires. The Bible is clear: “no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it” (Ephesians 5:29). Self-love is not something we lack; it is something we already possess in great abundance. It comes naturally to fallen humanity.
What we need is not a greater love for ourselves. What we need is a greater love for the Lord Christ Jesus.
One of the most profound questions that Jesus ever asked was directed toward Peter after the resurrection. As they were standing by the sea, Jesus looked at him and asked, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?" (John 21:15). This question from Christ strikes the heart and exposes where our true affection lies. Jesus did not ask Peter if he loved the ministry; He did not ask whether he loved preaching, nor did He ask if he loved serving people.
Jesus asked, "Do you love Me?"
That question remains the great test of every Christian’s heart.
A large number of Christians end up feeling exhausted because their affection is for ministry rather than for Christ. Others have fallen in love with serving people more than they have with Christ. Some are so absorbed in defending doctrine that they have neglected their love for Christ. Yet all aspects of the Christian life spring from that single relationship, and if our love for Him grows cold, then everything else eventually becomes a burden.
It is love for Christ that enables us to face suffering, keeps us faithful when we are misunderstood, and strengthens us when we are weary. This love enables us to overcome disappointments, betrayals, and losses. A man who truly loves Christ is able to bear difficulties that would otherwise crush him because his greatest treasure is not found in this world.
Which is why the Christian life is not about loving oneself more but about loving Christ more.
The more we behold Jesus, the less concerned we shall be about ourselves. The more we come to understand His holiness, the more clearly our own sinfulness becomes apparent to us. The more we come to know His mercy, the humbler we shall be because of His grace. Rather than being impressed with ourselves, we are amazed at Christ.
Some individuals will object to this and ask, "Are you suggesting that we should hate ourselves?"
The Holy Bible by no means teaches that we should celebrate ourselves, glorify ourselves, or make ourselves the focus of our lives; on the contrary, it continually urges humility, repentance, self-denial, and a state of brokenness before God. After Isaiah had seen the Lord high and lifted up, he did not end up with an improved sense of self-worth; instead, he cried out, "Woe is me! For I am a man undone" (Isaiah 6:5). And when Job came into a deeper encounter with God, he said, "I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42:6).
They did not have low self-esteem; rather, they saw themselves accurately in the light of God's holiness.
This is what our generation urgently needs. We need an understanding of God’s holiness so that our sense of self will be reduced to its proper position. We need a love for Christ so intense that our love for ourselves ceases to have any hold on our hearts. We need to stop asking how much we love ourselves and begin to ask whether we truly love the Son of God.
The world insists that we should look to ourselves, but Christ says that we should look to Him. The world tells us to place our confidence in ourselves, whereas Christ tells us to put our trust in Him. The world advises that we should make ourselves the center of our lives, but Christ calls us to die to ourselves and to follow Him.
One path leads to pride, disappointment, and spiritual blindness. The other brings about joy, freedom, and a fellowship with God.
No, I do not need more love for myself. I already have plenty of that. What I need is to love Jesus Christ more than I love myself. What I need is to love Him more than my comfort, more than my reputation, more than my plans and ambitions. Once the Lord Jesus becomes the supreme affection in my heart, everything else falls into its proper place.
That isn't politically correct; it has never been.
That is in accordance with the Bible.
RETURN TO ALL BLOGS
This teaching holds that the main reason for most of our struggles is that we do not value ourselves enough. We are told that our wounds will heal when we learn to appreciate ourselves and that the path to happiness, satisfaction, and even spiritual well-being starts with developing a greater love for ourselves. Even though the teaching is presented as wise spiritual counsel, it actually uses language similar to that found in self-help books rather than drawing on the wise counsel of the Holy Bible. Ultimately, it boils down to one familiar message: you must love yourself more.
But that is not what the Holy Bible teaches.
The scriptures show something far more disturbing: the trouble with humanity has never been that we do not love ourselves enough; on the contrary, the problem is that we love ourselves too much. Since the time in the Garden of Eden right down to the present day, the source of man's rebellion against God has always been self; we want our own way, we wish for our own desires to be fulfilled, we want our own plans to succeed, and we seek our own glory. At the core of sin is the act of putting self on the throne which belongs solely to God.
That is the reason why I am deeply concerned when I hear preachers saying that people should love themselves more. The Apostle Paul had warned Timothy that one of the defining characteristics of the last days would be that men and women would be "lovers of their own selves" (2 Timothy 3:2). He did not see this as a virtue and he did not consider it a remedy for the troubles of mankind; on the contrary, he regarded it as one of the signs that a generation had turned away from God even though it continued to maintain an outward appearance of religion.
That raises a major question: since a liking for oneself is one of the characteristics of a godless generation, how has self-love become one of the most highly regarded teachings in modern Christianity? How have we succumbed to the influence of the culture where churches are preaching the very thing that the Bible warns us about?
The answer is straightforward: the message appeals to our flesh.
There is a strong tendency for the flesh to hear that it is special, to hear that it entitles to more attention, and to hear that it should be the focus of the story; but Jesus never called men and women to exalt themselves. Instead, He called us to deny ourselves, and said, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me" (Matthew 16:24).
That is not the language of self-love. That is the language of surrender.
There is no need for us to be taught to love ourselves. That impulse is already driven within the nature of who we are. We instinctively protect ourselves. We defend ourselves. We promote ourselves. We make room for our own desires. The Bible is clear: “no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it” (Ephesians 5:29). Self-love is not something we lack; it is something we already possess in great abundance. It comes naturally to fallen humanity.
What we need is not a greater love for ourselves. What we need is a greater love for the Lord Christ Jesus.
One of the most profound questions that Jesus ever asked was directed toward Peter after the resurrection. As they were standing by the sea, Jesus looked at him and asked, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?" (John 21:15). This question from Christ strikes the heart and exposes where our true affection lies. Jesus did not ask Peter if he loved the ministry; He did not ask whether he loved preaching, nor did He ask if he loved serving people.
Jesus asked, "Do you love Me?"
That question remains the great test of every Christian’s heart.
A large number of Christians end up feeling exhausted because their affection is for ministry rather than for Christ. Others have fallen in love with serving people more than they have with Christ. Some are so absorbed in defending doctrine that they have neglected their love for Christ. Yet all aspects of the Christian life spring from that single relationship, and if our love for Him grows cold, then everything else eventually becomes a burden.
It is love for Christ that enables us to face suffering, keeps us faithful when we are misunderstood, and strengthens us when we are weary. This love enables us to overcome disappointments, betrayals, and losses. A man who truly loves Christ is able to bear difficulties that would otherwise crush him because his greatest treasure is not found in this world.
Which is why the Christian life is not about loving oneself more but about loving Christ more.
The more we behold Jesus, the less concerned we shall be about ourselves. The more we come to understand His holiness, the more clearly our own sinfulness becomes apparent to us. The more we come to know His mercy, the humbler we shall be because of His grace. Rather than being impressed with ourselves, we are amazed at Christ.
Some individuals will object to this and ask, "Are you suggesting that we should hate ourselves?"
The Holy Bible by no means teaches that we should celebrate ourselves, glorify ourselves, or make ourselves the focus of our lives; on the contrary, it continually urges humility, repentance, self-denial, and a state of brokenness before God. After Isaiah had seen the Lord high and lifted up, he did not end up with an improved sense of self-worth; instead, he cried out, "Woe is me! For I am a man undone" (Isaiah 6:5). And when Job came into a deeper encounter with God, he said, "I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42:6).
They did not have low self-esteem; rather, they saw themselves accurately in the light of God's holiness.
This is what our generation urgently needs. We need an understanding of God’s holiness so that our sense of self will be reduced to its proper position. We need a love for Christ so intense that our love for ourselves ceases to have any hold on our hearts. We need to stop asking how much we love ourselves and begin to ask whether we truly love the Son of God.
The world insists that we should look to ourselves, but Christ says that we should look to Him. The world tells us to place our confidence in ourselves, whereas Christ tells us to put our trust in Him. The world advises that we should make ourselves the center of our lives, but Christ calls us to die to ourselves and to follow Him.
One path leads to pride, disappointment, and spiritual blindness. The other brings about joy, freedom, and a fellowship with God.
No, I do not need more love for myself. I already have plenty of that. What I need is to love Jesus Christ more than I love myself. What I need is to love Him more than my comfort, more than my reputation, more than my plans and ambitions. Once the Lord Jesus becomes the supreme affection in my heart, everything else falls into its proper place.
That isn't politically correct; it has never been.
That is in accordance with the Bible.
RETURN TO ALL BLOGS
